What goes on in a counselling room?

What happens in counselling? Is it just two people sat in a room, with one doing most of the talking, and the other nodding their head and making sympathetic Mmmming noises? Well, sometimes. But in reality it’s a whole lot more.

Carl Rogers, the leading figure in person centered counselling said that 6 things are necessary in the counselling room – and they include both people in it.

The first 3 involve the counsellor. Here’s your check list;

The counsellor needs to be congruent – honest – true to themselves. If you don’t believe a word or Mmm the counsellor is saying, there’s really no point you hearing it.

The counsellor needs to be empathic. There is no point telling someone your story if they just don’t understand what you mean or how you feel. If they can’t imagine standing in your shoes, and really get what it feels like to be so hurt, so ashamed, so angry, so sad, then really, what’s the point in telling them?

The counsellor must also have unconditional positive regard for their client. Because who is going to want to tell their story if at the end of it all, the person who heard it is going to turn round and judge them. Some people struggle with this concept – how can you hold everyone in high esteem? How can you see everyone in a positive light, no matter what they have done?

The answer is in a sack of potatoes.

Carl Rogers noticed how if you leave a sack of potatoes in a cellar, they will grow towards any crack of light … the need to survive means that we will grow and adapt in any way in order to survive.

So if we end up a little crooked or messed up, it’s not our fault … we just grew that way in order to survive.

During the counselling process we hope to bathe you in just the right amount of empathy, congruence and unconditional positive regard, so you can grow to become the best specimen you can.

what i want to say is ….

Our mental health and emotional wellbeing is so important – but we often ignore it. People often don’t seek help until they’ve suffered for too long.

I want to demystify the counselling process to make it more approachable and accessible.

I also introduce you to some ideas, books, tips and thoughts which I hope will be helpful.

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